Today is the last week I stayed at Temanggung, my beautiful hometown. I looked at on my journal, and I found my best note about Ramadhan this year.
It is a note on the last day of Ramadhan.
The Leaving of Ramadhan, my personal thought about it
That day, I got tons of remider on my Whatsapp group that a moslem should be sad and waery because of the leaving od Ramadhan.
The broadcast remider made me questioning myself, “Am I a truthful moslem?”
I must confess that I didn’t feel any sadness for Ramadhan leaving or happiness for the upcoming Eid Al-Fitr.
The leaving of Ramadhan is something certain;so, instead of feeling sad, I would rather focusing my energy on planning thus I could remain istiqomah on my habits during Ramadhan.
I think it is more essential than just thingking whether Allah has forgiven my sin or not, or how much reward I will receive. In my opinion, it is up to Allah.
I also think, my worship during Ramadhan is not something that will deduct my sin and give a right for me to go heaven. If Allah is willing to forgive me, it is merely a gift, a bless from Him.
All of my worship during Ramadhan can not be compare to what Allah has gave me, even it’s only for a payment of ability blinking my eyes.
Many said Ramadhan is a test month of moslem iman; but I always think Ramadhan is a school which forming good habits on our daily life; keep pursuing our daily needs without leaving our needs of ukhrowi and vise versa.
So, the real real test actually comes after Ramadhan.
I knew it’s such of uncommon thought, and maybe it’s not easy to accept either. But that’s what I think about Ramdhan, and (maybe) will always that way.